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Mr. Answer reserves the right to
edit, mangle, twist and otherwise distort perfectly
legitimate questions if the whim strikes. If you
think you can do better,
write your own column, or better yet, send your
thoughts to:
mranswer@bigtoot.com
That way I can mock you in a future column.
Occasionally
I will also consent to answering relevant questions
on the use of Photoshop, Quark, prepress, the Macintosh
and anything else relating to the graphics trade.
Since
this is
the first "Ask Mr. Answer" column I will
be writing both the questions and answers. I will
always try to clearly identify my "made-up"
questions so everyone will know whether I'm alienating
real or fake people.
 Dear
Mr. Answer,
I'm
interviewing for a job as Art Director at an advertising
agency and they require experience in something
called "Quark". All I've ever used is
Microsoft Word. What do you think my chances are?
Signed, "Apprehensive"
Dear
Apprehensive,
I'd say your chances are excellent! First of all,
I have to say Quark is really overrated, plus it's
really hard to learn. You can accomplish most everything
you need to do in a page layout just fine with "Word".
Just keep hitting the space bar and tab keys until
everything looks good. Simple, huh?
Plus
you mentioned you were interviewing for Art Director
and everyone knows that what that position REALLY
requires is a withering air of superiority and a
masterful condescending glance. Screw "Quark",
get yourself a black silk shirt and turquoise fingernail
polish (unless you're a woman, in which case it
should be lime green fingernail polish).
Dear
Mr. Answer,
Why
do you mock and ridicule those of us with a legitimate
desire to learn and improve our skills?
Signed, "Curious"
Dear
Curious,
Because I'm also seeking to improve my skills. I
want to be an Art Director at an advertising agency.
All I need now is a black silk shirt.
Dear
Mr. Answer,
What
is the difference between "aliasing" &
"anti-aliasing"?
Signed, "Pixelated"
Dear
Pixelated,
I'm glad you asked. Many people believe it has something
to do with typographic display, not so. It is a
carefully concealed plot to perpetuate the myth
that smooth edges on type and graphics are more
attractive than the superior graphics handling capability's
of Windows 95 and a Hewlett Packard PC. Savvy IT
professionals looking for job security all know
the importance of integrating low cost PC's into
the graphic mainstream. Anti-aliasing, like manageable
color handling, is just more Mac fanatic hype designed
to stave off the perfectly acceptable mediocrity
of Windows.
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